There is a common misconception in life. This misconception often shows up in sessions. People have asked me how to be happy. The goal my friends is not happiness. Being happy all of the time is overrated and unrealistic. As I tell those I work with, if we were happy all the time then how would we ever know it. We need the lows to recognize the highs. Therefore, let's not aim for happiness. This will leave you feeling very disappointed. Let's instead learn how to sail the seas of emotions.
Learning how to manage whatever is thrown your way is an art. As with all artists, some creations are better than others. Some days, you will feel like you can manage anything that comes your way with grace and ease. Other days will be much less pretty. That is ok. That is life. It takes time. It takes practice. It takes work. Like I said happiness is not the goal.
So, you may be wondering- what is the work?!? Well, this work looks different for everyone. Meaning, step one is tuning in. What do you need? What feels challenging for you? What helps? How can we learn to accept what is and cope with it? How can we work on making tomorrow better? Know that each day is different, and each person is different. Comparisons are not helpful.
When we stop striving for happiness, life feels better. You've dropped a major stressor and magically happiness may come knocking at your door more often. There is no need to have additional stressors for what life is supposed to be, supposed to look like, supposed to feel like. Life is life. Enjoy it. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream. If you need to laugh, let it out. Don't hold back. Be unapologetically you- happy, sad, and everything in between.